I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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