oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
