What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
