i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
