Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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