Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
