PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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