How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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