you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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