I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I can't put those talents on a resume
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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