Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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