I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
