The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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