just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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