Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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