I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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