me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I am naked and annoyed.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
