haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
