Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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