1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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