We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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