Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
