You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
