This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
