WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
