I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
