oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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