That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
