It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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