i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
