I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
