just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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