No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
