If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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