Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
