I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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