dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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