I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
