Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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