Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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