Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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