Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
