Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
