Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
