Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
