I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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