My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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