so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
