i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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