wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
